Today's walk report: 082213

What's green, bulbous and has four eyes?


But first...

Come walk time I just didn't feel like it but am so glad I went. I was up before 5 AM today, in downtown Los Angeles by 6:45 and then stood in a line to get into Los Angeles Superior Court and another line to get one of four Golden Tickets for a probate workshop for a whopping total of 1.5 hours--standing. It was like waiting to get into Disneyland's Haunted Mansion in the summer of '69. I was number 3. Then it turns out they decided to take in a total of 11 people for whatever reason. Apparently usual is 8 but there are four people assisting, today it was only one. I have to say the woman handing all of us was amazing. She was the first really pleasant, knowledgeable and through person I've had to deal with at the court so far. Everything went smoothly and I was out just a little past noon. Then I got on the wrong freeway to come home.

That was okay too though, I readjusted and ended up going into my old neighborhood, which I miss dearly and visited a couple of people there.

I came home to a 91º house with a cat pretty darned pissed off at me. I think for both no A/C and the fact that it was 2 PM and all she had was an early AM treat. Sorry Lucy.

Anyway, 6 PM I told myself get out or you're going to be upset and a little empty later if you don't walk so walk I did.

Here's the answer to the "riddle" above.

3rd time is the charm. There were two other missed photo ops with this young Red-tailed hawk in the garden recently. On both of the previous occasions I was clodding along and my non-stealth approach spooked the bird. I did that again today but since it had just got itself a kill it was anxious to hang around and eat. I'm pretty sure that's a rat. I got lots of pictures. I'm about 4 meters away shooting at a focal length of 240mm here.

another at 300mm...

last one... Yes, unquestionably aware of my presence.

then there was this guy thinking, wow! glad it wasn't me.

and sunset...

Today's walk report: 082113

I think it's stress.

I don't have the energy now, it's dark, I need to have some dinner. Plus I have to get up early. Another day spent preparing for Probate court. Now I need to eat, relax, watch a movie... something to get past TODAY. Tomorrow I have to visit downtown once again and see if everything I did today is going to work. I'm trying to manuveaur within a system which not only assumes you've got a lawyer, it has also been designed to fight against you if you don't. Despite The independent Administration of Estate Act (IAEA), a series of laws allowing the personal representative to administer most aspects of the decedent's estate, resources for getting through the idiosyncratic intricacies of Los Angeles Superior Court are virtually nil. People at the court do what they do and that's about it. There's certainly someone somewhere in there who can help but they don't make finding that person (those people) easy.

Not going for a walk leaves a void every time but that's what's happening--I'm going to go and try to fill it but I already know... I miss my walk.

I found this several years ago... love it.

The absent walk report: 080813

Indiscipline...

It was about 9:30 PM when I was about to sit down to write a brief note about my brief walk yesterday. Then I looked at my bed, it was much more inviting than my desk chair.

Yesterday I was up slightly before 5 AM, coffee was ready and I was working on waking up before preparing to head for downtown Los Angeles (36.8 km or 22.9 miles) to visit the Superior Courthouse once again. The plan was to get there early, line up for the 7:30 opening of the court and then hustle to the 4th floor to be one of eight lucky attendees for the weekly Probate Workshop at 8 AM. Fun huh?

Waking up meant preparing a list of items for the workshop and in doing so, with the assistance of my good friend "Joe," I found myself answering my own questions. About 30 minutes in I started to realize time would be better spent at home, get myself to the next level and use the workshop next week if I get stuck again.

There's a modest lesson in this, it's something I apply all of the time to creative work, bottlenecks I run into there and especially in my aesthetic relationship with a creative project. Which really means my liking something I'm working on. I'm still learning how to apply this to other exercises in life, things like this probate, things that are thrust upon me which I find to be confusing or otherwise bothersome... I have to remove myself from the element(s) I find intimidating, break everything down and research each piece of the puzzle and then see if any of the pieces fit. Stand back and then circle the enemy. I have to become "indisciplined" and remove the restraint before I can step back inside, become disciplined and discover the solution.

The walk: Phase II of yesterday ended less than 30 minutes before deciding to hit the sack. I spent most of the day looking for one of three people. One of them I know is dead but I still had reason to find him. Finally, about 7:15 PM, I believed I had found the person I needed to find, almost 2 hours later I took a 600 km leap and got an update with a phone number and two addresses. The walk was well before this. I went to a house I could feel I had been inside at some time in my life. A house nearby, only blocks away and directly across from the elementary school I attended. It was the home of a friend of my mother's. One of the witnesses of the signing of her will. I ended up leaving a note on their front door. At 11 PM I was awoken by a phone call and a message to my Google Voice number finding out that the house was a dead end but that was okay, I had already found my direction.

Today's walk report: 080713

Things will be great when you're downtown?

I don't know how far I walked but it was far enough considering the mental anguish I went through prior to leaving the Los Angeles, Superior Courthouse on Hill Street. I had Hill Street blues. I still have them but I'm working it. At least now I know that the overwhelmed feeling that place gives me is just an illusion and it fades.

Just for example and without having to get into a bunch of boring details about the probate process, which is what I'm going through, here's a scenario from my day at the courthouse...

I was trying to find out what "form" was being referred to by 4 different people in 3 different offices. All of them seemed to have knowledge of a form but none of them knew what the form was. All I got was a "judicial council attachment form" from one party. She was very helpful, don't get me wrong, but whoever you speak with in the court only knows their piece of the puzzle... or so it seems. So... for this "form"...

I went from room 429 to 426, 426 sent me to 425, 425 was helpful but said to get the elusive form from 426. 426 said no, go to 429 again and 429 said go back to 426. 426 then shrugged his shoulders and told me to come to a workshop. The workshop takes on only the first 8 people in line when they open the door one time a week. No reservations. No slipping the maitre d' a $20.

In between the first trip from 429 to 426 was a lawyer who overheard my confusion, offered some advice in a very sketchy sort of "you need my services" way. 425 however promoted the concept of "you can work through this, lots of people do."

Not really in a picture taking or walking around mood after all of that, plus once I got my camera from the car, by 10:35 AM, it was already approaching not so comfortable walking weather.

The famous 2nd Street Tunnel under Bunker Hill in Downtown Los Angeles, California. That I can give you a measurement on, it's 470 meters long and I walked it both ways. If you're a Sci-fi fan you will know this tunnel from the movie Blade Runner. Lots of horn honks and waves for the guy in the tunnel!

But I really didn't have a plan or know where I was going....

By the backside of the Disney Hall I decided I didn't feel like walking to the front side to take photos of an over photographed building which I find borderline ugly.

So I walked back toward the tunnel...

I was planning to go to my old stomping grounds in L.A. if everything had gone well DT but they had not. Maybe next time.

The missing walk report: 072313

The absent report.

There was one "no walk report" since I began this particular incarnation of posting something, somewhere regarding my daily constitutional. If you missed how this nonsense ever started that was addressed here on 041913, which was also the starting date of putting this flavor of banter up on my blog. The whole idea behind this blog is mentioned here in my 1st entry, basically stemming from my vacillating disdain-acceptance relationship with Facebook. The overseeing concept of having a blog before there was any inclination whatsoever to apply a concept, a purpose, or any real reason for this particular adopted method of wasting time? I was merely struck by a title, The Odd Sock, while sorting two dresser drawers containing, for the most part, a good 20 year collection of socks. It was the sheer abundance of odd socks accumulated that got me started in somehow seeing that having some deeper relationship to my life. There's a certain sarcasm in this statement you'd probably understand if you knew me.

Yesterday there was no entry. Not even a "no walk report." Yesterday there was actually a walk too. However, yesterday morning began quite early for me. Despite planning and going to bed at "a decent hour" for a 5 A.M. rise, nervous anticipation for the events of 072313, events I had often pondered over the 4 months before their arrival, took their toll on my sleep and seemed to startle me into clock checking anxiety throughout the night. Yesterday I had to go to court for my 1st probate hearing. Downtown Los Angeles. I just wrote an e-mail to a friend who's been a blessing in getting over some of the humps I'm having in this process, "I can't even begin to tell you how alone and overwhelmed I felt in that courtroom yesterday. NOBODY was without representation and there's a general assumption in the air that presumes YOU know wtf is going on." Without getting into details, suffice it to say, it didn't go nearly as well as I would have hoped it would. Without getting into the full depth of emotions that accompany this task I'll leave it at... this all comes about because I lost my mother just 20 weeks ago yesterday. The combination of being in pro per and having an emotional connection is rather arduous.

The list of "to do" items of the courtroom episode is fortunately short however I found two of them to be perhaps ridiculously monumental. At times I get funneled into a black hole when I have to deal with something that either somebody didn't make sure they had dealt with properly before it got in my hands and fixing a legal issue that's over 30 years in the past happens to qualify or when I feel somebody has thrown a wrench into the mix. I look for a quick fix. I look for therapy. Which brings me to my walk yesterday.

The walk wasn't going to happen, that's what I told myself from early in the afternoon but I decided something based on one very simple thing. I was hungry and I didn't feel like preparing or eating anything in the house. What I really felt like was doing something I almost never do and that was to console myself with food and out of simplicity but also for deliciousness what popped into my head was Animal Fries from In-N-Out Burger. I was looking for non-nutritious decadence. Close by.

A mere 1.85 km from front door to the walk-up window. So that's what I did, I grabbed my canvas tote bag, went for a Double-Double with onions and an order of fries animal style and walked back home with my grub.

On the way home with about .7 km to go something amazing happened. I suddenly felt the burden of the day lift from my body. Both mentally and physically, I kid you not, it was as if there were a magnetic pulling right up from my shoulders and my head and the day's ugliness leaving my body. Just before this happened I rather inexplicably ran, not jogged, for about 150 meters. Shake those fries. I don't run very often. At 57 my body just doesn't seem geared for running anymore but ran I did. Run, Eric, run... my head called out to me.

I often think how I'd be doomed without walking. Walking was over a 50% contributor in my losing some 80 lb (36.28 kg) about 4 years back. Walking alleviates backaches and many other pains (not foot pain-nope) all the time but most importantly it lifts my spirit. How could I have possibly considered dealing with a shit day by not going for a walk?